On a more serious side, if you have not seen this you should. It makes a lot of sense as a CPR method that is simpler to jump in and help if you are ever placed in a situation where needed.
Life Saving Tip You Should Know
January 11th, 2012Call Me Scrooge!
December 30th, 2011
Yesterday I became Scrooge!
Not intentionally, but simply because I got a jump on an end of season task.
As I have mentioned before, our little burb has quite the light display courtesy of about 90% participation from all Christmas celebrating families. We also have large trees bordering the street and the tradition is they are wrapped in white lights-as high as one can reach with an 11 foot light pole (available at Target right now for $15.99)! It is beautiful and our street becomes a must see for Christmas light seekers. Cars slowly creep down our street all December, annoying us residents who simply want to get home at the posted speed limit.
There are no rules or regulations for how to participate. We are a 20 year old neighborhood and new residents catch on quickly. When they stop by the summer cookouts and somebody asks them..”hey..you got a pretty good stock of white outdoor lights and a hanging pole don’t you?” they start to get indoctrinated. Actually, at these same get-togethers, many of us start to contemplate how we can end this labor of love that starts every Thanksgiving. Cutting down the trees seems like the only idea anybody really has since the peer pressure is so high.
So, our community light display is a rather unstructured participation with little rules other than white lights on your street trees. There is no rule as to when the lights go off, though typically they start getting shut down New Years day. In May, I still observe trees full of lights..just not being turned on at night. I have never done that but it seems once the trees are full of leaves you will never get those lights out.
Yesterday afternoon produced sunshine and 50 degrees. Being accustomed to freezing my hands and other body parts off taking the lights down, I decided it was time to end our family participation in this ritual. Next week could bring snow, ice and who knows what other pitiful Indiana weather extremes but not Thursday December 29. Over the course of the three hours it takes to bring down the entire display, cars crept by slowly giving me the look of disappointment…possibly questioning my loyalty to the program. I started to believe they were calling me Scrooge from inside their cars. How could I create this opening in the beautiful path of lights?
The truth be known, I bet secretly they were all envious they had not thought of this first. It is pouring rain today, and by Sunday it will be in the 20′s. As the cars drove slowly down the street last night I could hear them actually accelerate as they came to our home. Next year they will go looking for lights before Christmas since it appears people shut down this show early. The neighbors will likely watch out for a nice day and get those lights down also. A trend has started. Either that or my social expulsion from my nighborhood for betrayal of the unwritten Christmas light rules. So
Happy New Year everybody!
Puppies
December 16th, 2011The last time I wrote about animals it involved the passing to doggy heaven of our long time family dog. Jake. After Jake was no longer with us (known by me as AJ-after Jake), we cleaned up and threw away a lot of things that really had no use anymore with no Jake. My wife invested in a thorough carpet cleaning and our home was shining! It was nice to come home and not worry about a dog. Plus, did I mention how clean our home was?
I was getting use to this new AJ lifestyle. Things seemed a little calmer without a dog…and that was OK. I was starting to realize how much the care Jake required, over the last year of his life, had just really tired me out. Thirty days and it just seemed like I was getting into a nice routine and guess what?
I think most of the people that work in our office heard me say, several times, “No” when Jennifer stopped by and asked. She had placed her name on a list for a rescue dog service and preferenced labradoodles. That was Wednesday. On Friday they are calling her and she is asking me about another dog. If you have ever lived in this moment, you know the feelings of guilt combined with selfishness. “Do I want to see a picture?” Uh no, I just want to get back to work and pretend this moment is not occurring.
So, you know what happened next. What choice did I have? Plus, it was like buying one of those products on late night television. “No risk- guaranteed!” I won’t have to do anything. Jennifer will make sure the puppy has all it needs and is trained and lots of promises that are impossible with puppies. But, she has a big heart and it is not fair of me to squelch that.
So, by Sunday, the very short lived period of clean, quiet and relaxing days had ended. Just like that. Maybe it is a result of raising five kids. We know nothing us but chaos in our home. With the older kids off at college and not far from being off the payroll, maybe a Mom just needs something to replace the lost madness?
I chuckle at the money she spent on carpet cleaning the week before as we discover “Buddy” came to us with a stomach bug. What did she expect for a dog pulled from a dumpster? The chuckling ended though when I was left with him, and despite all my efforts to make a trip outside every 15 minutes, I end up with two carpet disasters. As I clean up, I am mumbling to myself about why I did not want another dog.
Joey (our soo
n to be 8 year old) is similar to an only child because of the hers, mine and ours status of our children. Of course, I am told Buddy will be Joey’s best friend. I think Joey would love that but Buddy just sees somebody almost his size that he can jump on and test out his little baby teeth. Joey is trying very hard to keep his patience but he has his limits. Tonight, after Buddy cleared two pieces of furniture in pursuit of Joey, who was trying to work on homework, I noticed quiet. Between raising kids and having two other dogs I have trained, quiet (except in the middle of the night) is a concern. So I start trying to find the ball of white fur. Nowhere to be found. I ask Joey if he has seen Buddy. He informs me, “oh yea” so I ask the next logical question.
“Where?”
“In his crate.”
“Why?”
“He will leave me alone then.”
So “Buddy Prison” is officially in business. And it is our youngest one who figured out how to bring sanity back to our home when needed!
Feel free to come meet Buddy. We will post visitation hours for the Prison. He likely will be in serving time.
Times Are Changing..Better Let Your Sons Know!
December 9th, 2011In case yo
u are raising boys, and are not a middle age man, what I am going to share may be news to you. Men are now our parents women. Huh? Basically, as time has gone on, and society advanced past the industrial age, women are now better suited for many, if not most, professions in todays world. You may be thinking I am being cyncial but the evidence is piling up. And we better start recognizing it as we raise our sons. The old ways just are not going to cut it in this brave new world.
In 2010 women became the majority of the workforce for the first time in American history. There are now three women graduating from college for every two men. I think we can stop arguing for equality-except pay is not quite there but it is approaching equillibrium. Our culture has created this disparity in a totally unplanned manner. Even certain Asian countries now place an emphasis on young parents birthing girls.
Why? In the post-industrial world thinking and communication skills have more value than brute strength for economic success. Of course, women have always been programmed to be better communicators than men.
The result? During the last five years, 75% of the jobs lost were held by men. Think about the industries that have been significantly hurt in this recession and how male-oriented they are. Manufacturing, construction, finance. The reason we need to start teaching our boys differently is for their future in the world of employment. Just a few of them are going to make $254 million over 10 years (aka Albert Pujols). I think we all believe the future for our boys might be in being paid to play games. Reality says we better realize our boys chances of being paid to play is very, very slim. Chances are much better they will get paid to provide a service. Of the 15 job categories projected to grow over the next decade, all but two are women dominated fields. In fact, the fastest growing job fields are dominated with services that formerly were performed by women in the home, and can be scaled into successful businesses. Think home health care and food preparation. Even the education system values the skill sets that come more easily to girls (verbal skills, focus, and slef-control). We can’t reprogram our boys, but we need to with awareness direct them toward the future.
The self-reliance of woman is now evidenced by delaying or postponing marriage. Why haul along a husband who may earn much less, and is not profecient at housekeeping skills also? Maybe the least we can do is make our sons learn some domestic skills that we naturally avoid for boys, but encourage for girls.
What made me think about this today is the news from Purdue that the College of Engineering has set a new record for women enrollment. Since 2007, the first year female population has grown by 42%! In this traditionally male field, women easily could succeed once the sterotypes are set aside, and the way the learning takes place adjusts from lecture to more group oriented. That is what Purdue is doing and the result is one more avenue that women could become equal, if not dominant.
I have three daughters and I am happy for all of these opportunities that the world will provide for them. I also have two sons and the traditional world for boys, that I grew up in, and they are a part of, is lacking in really preparing them for the skills they are going to need. As parents we have to start to recognize this. While we can toss off certain behaviors with “boys will be boys” we may want to ask whether we really want them to be.
(Many of the facts referenced in this post came from an amazing story in The Atlantic magazine title “The End of Men”. I suggest you read it.)
More Protection Please
November 30th, 2011
The ongoing search light continues to focus brightly on all parties associated with residential real estate for blame of the five year economic malise. It only makes sense that thoughtful entreprenuers will come up with new ways to protect the parties involved in residential sales transactions. This week we received news that a new insurance product is being offered to protect lenders and investors from losses when “a valuation inaccuracy is discovered.” So, now we have appraisal protection, title insurance and mortgage insurance. Having valuation insurance sure sounds like a good idea to help add a few more costs to each transaction. Just think, if such insurance is available, why do we really need full appraisals? What would happen if the market just did its job and residential real estate values were determined in a real market based system…closer to an auction than an arbitrary list price?
Since we are now on the path of providing purchasers with all kinds of protection, most likely at the seller’s expense, I have a few new ideas that I would propose should become part of all transactions.
Mortgage Qalification Insurance- if you learn that a lender allowed you to borrow more than you can handle, and now you are cash strapped and having difficulty making payments, put in a claim against your lender. They are the 1%..right? Let them pay your mortgage since they loaned you too much!
Home Inspection Insurance- That home inspection did not catch the gfi circuit breaker that is not tripping and you are concerned that it is a hazard? No problem! File a claim on the Inspection policy and get the funds to make those repairs!
Poor Decision Insurance- this is a nice way to say that your Realtor led you to a home that you fell in love with, and now feel is a mistake. Call it buyers remorse, just don’t lose any sleep over it! You are with the good hands who are just going to pay you for the home since you have a Poor Decision policy. What a great way to buy a home, knowing you are protected if the home is a lemon, or just not enough room at the holidays! Hey, those Realtors have lots of money. Why shouldn’t they offer this protection so you want to use their services?
There are so many parts of life I would like to insure. How about the risk that your kids make bad decisions that cost you several thousands of dollars? Call it Parental Protection Insurance. Or how about your spouse who no longer excites you. Middle Age Crisis Insurance can help fund your new sports car and more!
Maybe I need to change careers. I could really create some great insurance coverages. Too bad I did not take out a Wild Card Policy for all of my ideas…
Whatever
November 28th, 2011Insights gained after a long weekend (chronologically-I enjoyed the time we spent together) with my older children, the ones we are actively working to get off the payroll. I can see some problems that their generation may have in dealing with future employers who just so happen to be of their old man’s generation. Of course, I am the only one who does not get it. As I imagine the day they enter the world outside of the parental checkbook, I think they might want to consider that there are a lot more of me and my type out there, who will affect their future.
So, a few things that silly old Dad is a little concerned about as this generation (notice I am not picking specifically on my kids) enters the job market for the first time.
First comment- it is really expected that when a time is set involving other people, don’t leave those other people waiting. Yes, they do have other things to do.
Responding to a request like, “will you be able to make dinner tonight,” with a “I’ll try” really is not a great way to show your commitment to any person or activity.
Smart phones are amazing and a wonderful advancement in the world of staying in touch. Leaving it laying on the table during dinner to vibrate every 3 minutes is noticed and considered annoying.
Stephen Stills wrote a song called “Love the One Your With.” Look it up. Before you check those tweets.
Occasionally it might be appropriate to communicate your schedule to others.
Don’t respond to anybody, anywhere, with the common “whatever”. Understand it is very much considered, by those who will someday provide you the funds to allow you to eat, as an insult. A wet slap in the face. Wrong. If you disagree, then find a way to voice your disagreement. Don’t say “whatever.”
When you read this and you laugh at me for taking the time to share what the world you believe you are ready to enter is really like…know that I have titled this post appropriate to my level of self concern about your feelings. I do want you to be successful and have all the best advantages the world has to offer. You probably know all of this already.
I know one thing. My parents sure got a lot smarter as I got older. I think most do.
Whatever…
Moral Compass
November 14th, 2011What can Penn State teach all of us that is relevant to our lives? I think a very huge lesson. We all share a knowledge of certain standards in society. Certain standards trump others. If you serve an institution, there is a group think that actions must be taken to protect that institution. We have seen it many times with large corporations. Now we are seeing it in a large academic community. The moral compass was programmed to mix up south and north. Working for a long time in a large institution may blur the lines between moral, legal and ethical. Clearly, Penn State botched it on all three counts and certain administrators let their moral compass lead them to protect the institution first, and the children were overlooked. Wrong…but happens frequently..just usually not involving children..thank God.
I suspect it is not easy to keep your moral compass synchronized in a large institution where many of your superiors have lost their moral direction. It is easier to tell yourself you did your job reporting the wrong to your superiors. At this point, if clearly people are being hurt, and you feel you have done what you need to do by letting the institution handle the matter, your compass has lost its synchronicity.
Our moral compass can easily be forgotten when it comes to moral and ethical direction and our employers. Don’t stand by and assume you have done all you need to do. Check your moral compass today and remember we have a higher calling than just protecting our institutions. It appears that Penn State lost its way a long time ago. I doubt if anyone had thought beyond protecting the institution that this scenario would have escalated and so many people harmed.
A moral compass. Make sure yours is synchronized and guiding you in all you do.
Thank You For Serving!
November 11th, 2011
Sometimes I wonder what life is like for people who live in Cuba, China, North Korea. What is the line that allows me to live in freedom and my own choices, while these people are so monitored and programmed, that freedom is a word very narrowly defined. How fortunate I am that I was born to live in the United States! While we have our own set of problems, we all continue to be free to get up each day and decide how we spend the time God has granted us on this earth.
For many years, and continuing today, many people in other parts of the world either envy us or resent us. Our standards are so high that one of the distinguishing statements in the Declaration of Independence states that “All Men Are Created Equal.” When our principals and freedoms have been threatened, there has always been a group of our brothers and sisters, prepared to protect the honor of the Declaration, and the ensuing laws of our Constitution.
Many of them come home from battle changed human beings. They sometimes have not come home at all. Their service allows them to be called Veterans. There have been times in our history where our protectors have not been given the honor and recognition they deserve. Fortunately, those times have been short lived.
Once a year we honor our Veterans on November 11. It seems that there is more celebration of what these men and women have provided us now than when I was a young boy. My youngest is in second grade and this will be the third year I have attended a Veterans Day program at his school with my Dad who served in the Army. The school does a great job all week of preparing the kids to understand the significance of the day and the program they will be presenting. It is very special. Last night he told me they are expecting four WWII veterans! In second grade he understands how important, and increasingly rare, it will be for us to say thank you to this group of servants.
I come from an age in our history where, when I turned 18, the draft had been ceased with the recent end of the Vietnam war. Serving in the military was not on my radar at all. I do not say this proudly. Frankly, it was just one of those times in history where we did not give our military the due and respect we should. I have lived now to understand how different the lives are for the people who chose, or were forced by induction, to join the military. I understand and appreciate the tremendous freedoms I have enjoyed in my life due to the sacrifice of so many.
Today is the day to tell them “Thank You”! When you have the chance, anytime, and you meet one of these men and women-tell them “Thank you for your service!” It may seem trite, but I have been told quietly many times by people who have served, how it never grows old to know their sacrifices are appreciated.
Its the least I can do…
Why I Don’t Watch Reality TV
November 4th, 2011
I do not feel duped today like the millions of people who allowed their lives to be wasted by the big summer wedding of Kim and Kris. Whatever..sorry I do not even think they deserve first name status but that seems to be the way my daughter referred to it while it was occuring. If you are not sure what I am referring to, here is the big news. Caution: don’t read this over breakfast! The five million people who wasted their lives wrapped up in this nonsense might want to consider their role in this news. They are nothing more than pawns to these people who have allowed somebody to record their lives with multiple cameras and then make a few bucks from the curiosity of people who must be so bored with their own lives that they will waste hours in front of a TV or magazine. The print media is not in any way excused from this either. People magazine paid $3 million for the exclusive pictures. I can’t believe I am admitting this but somebody in my home receives People magazine and I was pleased to see it in the trash a day after the big wedding edition showed up in the mail.
The numbers that get me (and should you also).
87 days engaged.
72 days between marriage to divorce filing.
$17.9 million NETTED by Kim and Kris in wedding related publicity.
Oh and now both TV and print media will make a fortune because so many will be glued to the next riveting detail of the split up.
If somehow you are feeling sorry for these folks..consider this. A total of 159 days of engagement and marriage is a little over five months. That is $112,578 a day since the stunt started. Divide by two and you get $56,289 a day. Humphries $3.2 million NBA salary is no small change. But being a part of this wedding charade was a better career option for him than the NBA..particularly right now with no NBA in sight.
I would like to take this post down the road of saying these are two young people that made some bad decisions and they will learn by them. No, I think as long as there are people who care about this, watching the latest headlines and consuming the print media, there is another reality wedding and divorce just waiting to happen. Paris Hilton-you need a career boost right now. This looks like a great gig!
Ask More Questions
October 24th, 2011If six children and two dogs were under an umbrella, how come none of them got wet?
Common riddle. We get them every day. If somebody runs this one by you the likely response is I don’t know.
Why don’t we ask a few questions? Why not ask more questions before giving your client’s a quick reply? Seek to understand so that you are understood. It is a basic Sales 101 lesson, yet we handle most interactions with our clients, co-workers, and family with a quick answer. Not a question.
If you take the time to ask a question or two, the riddle above is easy. When you do the same with people you are interacting with, chances are you will deepen your understanding of that person and their needs.
Basic stuff, but hard to do. Phone calls to return, email screaming out of a screen at you, kids climbing up your leg. Just try. Your interactions with others are not a riddle telling moment. Chances are the person asking is not communicating the real question and digging a little deeper will not only connect you better, but might save a headache later.
“Why are so many children crowding under one umbrella?” “What do the dogs have to do with the question?’ “Where are they when this is happening?”
Why did they not get wet? Because it wasn’t raining.
